INTRODUCTION: This lesson teaches a lot about personal influence. The woman of Tekoah demonstrates one way to influence others. At the end of the chapter, Absalom demonstrates another way to get your way with others. The trouble is, both ways have an ungodly side to them. How does the Lord want us to influence others?

1. THE WOMAN OF TEKOAH TOLD A TALE (2 Samuel 14:1-11 [1] Now Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king's heart was toward Absalom. [2] And Joab sent to Tekoah, and fetched thence a wise woman, and said unto her, I pray thee, feign thyself to be a mourner, and put on now mourning apparel, and anoint not thyself with oil, but be as a woman that had a long time mourned for the dead: [3] And come to the king, and speak on this manner unto him. So Joab put the words in her mouth. [4] And when the woman of Tekoah spake to the king, she fell on her face to the ground, and did obeisance, and said, Help, O king. [5] And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, I am indeed a widow woman, and mine husband is dead. [6] And thy handmaid had two sons, and they two strove together in the field, and there was none to part them, but the one smote the other, and slew him. [7] And, behold, the whole family is risen against thine handmaid, and they said, Deliver him that smote his brother, that we may kill him, for the life of his brother whom he slew; and we will destroy the heir also: and so they shall quench my coal which is left, and shall not leave to my husband neither name nor remainder upon the earth. [8] And the king said unto the woman, Go to thine house, and I will give charge concerning thee. [9] And the woman of Tekoah said unto the king, My lord, O king, the iniquity be on me, and on my father's house: and the king and his throne be guiltless. [10] And the king said, Whoever saith ought unto thee, bring him to me, and he shall not touch thee any more. [11] Then said she, I pray thee, let the king remember the LORD thy God, that thou wouldest not suffer the revengers of blood to destroy any more, lest they destroy my son. And he said, As the LORD liveth, there shall not one hair of thy son fall to the earth.
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1. Joab Arranged the Meeting (2 Samuel 14:1-3 [1] Now Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king's heart was toward Absalom. [2] And Joab sent to Tekoah, and fetched thence a wise woman, and said unto her, I pray thee, feign thyself to be a mourner, and put on now mourning apparel, and anoint not thyself with oil, but be as a woman that had a long time mourned for the dead: [3] And come to the king, and speak on this manner unto him. So Joab put the words in her mouth.
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1. He perceived the king’s heart was toward Absalom (2 Samuel 14:1Now Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king's heart was toward Absalom.
   See All...; 2 Samuel 13:39And the soul of king David longed to go forth unto Absalom: for he was comforted concerning Amnon, seeing he was dead.
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2. He fetched a wise woman of Tekoah (2 Samuel 14:2And Joab sent to Tekoah, and fetched thence a wise woman, and said unto her, I pray thee, feign thyself to be a mourner, and put on now mourning apparel, and anoint not thyself with oil, but be as a woman that had a long time mourned for the dead:
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1. Tekoah
1. A town of Judah about 12 miles south of Jerusalem
2. The home of the prophet Amos (Amos 1:1The words of Amos, who was among the herdmen of Tekoa, which he saw concerning Israel in the days of Uzziah king of Judah, and in the days of Jeroboam the son of Joash king of Israel, two years before the earthquake.
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2. She was to pretend to be a mourner.
1. With mourning apparel
2. Without being anointed with oil
3. NOTE: Anointing one’s self with oil was part of ordinary washing in Bible lands. The oil would keep the skin moist and fresh. Its disuse was associated with grief (Daniel 10:2-3 [2] In those days I Daniel was mourning three full weeks. [3] I ate no pleasant bread, neither came flesh nor wine in my mouth, neither did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.
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4. As one that mourned for the dead
3. He sent her to the king (2 Samuel 14:3And come to the king, and speak on this manner unto him. So Joab put the words in her mouth.
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4. He gave her the words to say (2 Samuel 14:3And come to the king, and speak on this manner unto him. So Joab put the words in her mouth.
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2. She Presented Her Case to the King (2 Samuel 14:4-11 [4] And when the woman of Tekoah spake to the king, she fell on her face to the ground, and did obeisance, and said, Help, O king. [5] And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, I am indeed a widow woman, and mine husband is dead. [6] And thy handmaid had two sons, and they two strove together in the field, and there was none to part them, but the one smote the other, and slew him. [7] And, behold, the whole family is risen against thine handmaid, and they said, Deliver him that smote his brother, that we may kill him, for the life of his brother whom he slew; and we will destroy the heir also: and so they shall quench my coal which is left, and shall not leave to my husband neither name nor remainder upon the earth. [8] And the king said unto the woman, Go to thine house, and I will give charge concerning thee. [9] And the woman of Tekoah said unto the king, My lord, O king, the iniquity be on me, and on my father's house: and the king and his throne be guiltless. [10] And the king said, Whoever saith ought unto thee, bring him to me, and he shall not touch thee any more. [11] Then said she, I pray thee, let the king remember the LORD thy God, that thou wouldest not suffer the revengers of blood to destroy any more, lest they destroy my son. And he said, As the LORD liveth, there shall not one hair of thy son fall to the earth.
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1. Her story and David’s first response (2 Samuel 14:4-8 [4] And when the woman of Tekoah spake to the king, she fell on her face to the ground, and did obeisance, and said, Help, O king. [5] And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, I am indeed a widow woman, and mine husband is dead. [6] And thy handmaid had two sons, and they two strove together in the field, and there was none to part them, but the one smote the other, and slew him. [7] And, behold, the whole family is risen against thine handmaid, and they said, Deliver him that smote his brother, that we may kill him, for the life of his brother whom he slew; and we will destroy the heir also: and so they shall quench my coal which is left, and shall not leave to my husband neither name nor remainder upon the earth. [8] And the king said unto the woman, Go to thine house, and I will give charge concerning thee.
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1. She approached the king (2 Samuel 14:4And when the woman of Tekoah spake to the king, she fell on her face to the ground, and did obeisance, and said, Help, O king.
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1. She spoke to him.
2. She fell on her face before him.
3. She did obeisance; that is, she gave reverence to him.
4. She said, Help, O king.
2. She made her case (2 Samuel 14:5-7 [5] And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, I am indeed a widow woman, and mine husband is dead. [6] And thy handmaid had two sons, and they two strove together in the field, and there was none to part them, but the one smote the other, and slew him. [7] And, behold, the whole family is risen against thine handmaid, and they said, Deliver him that smote his brother, that we may kill him, for the life of his brother whom he slew; and we will destroy the heir also: and so they shall quench my coal which is left, and shall not leave to my husband neither name nor remainder upon the earth.
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1. Her husband was dead (2 Samuel 14:5And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, I am indeed a widow woman, and mine husband is dead.
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2. She had only two sons (2 Samuel 14:6And thy handmaid had two sons, and they two strove together in the field, and there was none to part them, but the one smote the other, and slew him.
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3. Her sons fought and one killed the other (2 Samuel 14:6And thy handmaid had two sons, and they two strove together in the field, and there was none to part them, but the one smote the other, and slew him.
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4. Her whole family was determined to slay the living son because of his act of murder (2 Samuel 14:7And, behold, the whole family is risen against thine handmaid, and they said, Deliver him that smote his brother, that we may kill him, for the life of his brother whom he slew; and we will destroy the heir also: and so they shall quench my coal which is left, and shall not leave to my husband neither name nor remainder upon the earth.
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5. She would lose her only son and her husband would lose his inheritance (2 Samuel 14:7And, behold, the whole family is risen against thine handmaid, and they said, Deliver him that smote his brother, that we may kill him, for the life of his brother whom he slew; and we will destroy the heir also: and so they shall quench my coal which is left, and shall not leave to my husband neither name nor remainder upon the earth.
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6. NOTE: Notice the powerful picture she used—“they shall quench my coal which is left.”
3. David responded to her request (2 Samuel 14:8And the king said unto the woman, Go to thine house, and I will give charge concerning thee.
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1. Go to thine house.
2. I will give charge concerning thee.
2. The second round (2 Samuel 14:9-10 [9] And the woman of Tekoah said unto the king, My lord, O king, the iniquity be on me, and on my father's house: and the king and his throne be guiltless. [10] And the king said, Whoever saith ought unto thee, bring him to me, and he shall not touch thee any more.
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1. Her appeal (2 Samuel 14:9And the woman of Tekoah said unto the king, My lord, O king, the iniquity be on me, and on my father's house: and the king and his throne be guiltless.
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1. Let the iniquity be on me and my house.
2. Let the king and his throne be guiltless.
2. David’s response (2 Samuel 14:10And the king said, Whoever saith ought unto thee, bring him to me, and he shall not touch thee any more.
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1. Bring the one who troubles you to me.
2. He will touch you no more.
3. The third appeal (2 Samuel 14:11Then said she, I pray thee, let the king remember the LORD thy God, that thou wouldest not suffer the revengers of blood to destroy any more, lest they destroy my son. And he said, As the LORD liveth, there shall not one hair of thy son fall to the earth.
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1. Her appeal
1. Remember the Lord.
2. Do not allow the avengers of blood to destroy any more.
2. David’s response – Your son shall not be harmed.
2. THE WOMAN OF TEKOAH MADE HER POINT (2 Samuel 14:12-20 [12] Then the woman said, Let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak one word unto my lord the king. And he said, Say on. [13] And the woman said, Wherefore then hast thou thought such a thing against the people of God? for the king doth speak this thing as one which is faulty, in that the king doth not fetch home again his banished. [14] For we must needs die, and are as water spilt on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again; neither doth God respect any person: yet doth he devise means, that his banished be not expelled from him. [15] Now therefore that I am come to speak of this thing unto my lord the king, it is because the people have made me afraid: and thy handmaid said, I will now speak unto the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his handmaid. [16] For the king will hear, to deliver his handmaid out of the hand of the man that would destroy me and my son together out of the inheritance of God. [17] Then thine handmaid said, The word of my lord the king shall now be comfortable: for as an angel of God, so is my lord the king to discern good and bad: therefore the LORD thy God will be with thee. [18] Then the king answered and said unto the woman, Hide not from me, I pray thee, the thing that I shall ask thee. And the woman said, Let my lord the king now speak. [19] And the king said, Is not the hand of Joab with thee in all this? And the woman answered and said, As thy soul liveth, my lord the king, none can turn to the right hand or to the left from ought that my lord the king hath spoken: for thy servant Joab, he bade me, and he put all these words in the mouth of thine handmaid: [20] To fetch about this form of speech hath thy servant Joab done this thing: and my lord is wise, according to the wisdom of an angel of God, to know all things that are in the earth.
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1. She Accused the King of His Fault (2 Samuel 14:12-14 [12] Then the woman said, Let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak one word unto my lord the king. And he said, Say on. [13] And the woman said, Wherefore then hast thou thought such a thing against the people of God? for the king doth speak this thing as one which is faulty, in that the king doth not fetch home again his banished. [14] For we must needs die, and are as water spilt on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again; neither doth God respect any person: yet doth he devise means, that his banished be not expelled from him.
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1. She requested to speak again (2 Samuel 14:12Then the woman said, Let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak one word unto my lord the king. And he said, Say on.
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2. She named David’s wrong (2 Samuel 14:13And the woman said, Wherefore then hast thou thought such a thing against the people of God? for the king doth speak this thing as one which is faulty, in that the king doth not fetch home again his banished.
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1. His thoughts were wrong against the people of God.
2. The king spoke as one who is guilty.
3. The king had refused to fetch home his banished.
3. She reasoned with the king (2 Samuel 14:14For we must needs die, and are as water spilt on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again; neither doth God respect any person: yet doth he devise means, that his banished be not expelled from him.
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1. Death cannot be reversed.
1. We all die.
2. Death is as water spilled on the ground.
3. Death is no respecter of persons.
2. Banishment can be reversed.
1. God has devised means to restore the banished.
2. The banished need not be eternally expelled.
2. She Praised the King for His Wisdom (2 Samuel 14:15-17 [15] Now therefore that I am come to speak of this thing unto my lord the king, it is because the people have made me afraid: and thy handmaid said, I will now speak unto the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his handmaid. [16] For the king will hear, to deliver his handmaid out of the hand of the man that would destroy me and my son together out of the inheritance of God. [17] Then thine handmaid said, The word of my lord the king shall now be comfortable: for as an angel of God, so is my lord the king to discern good and bad: therefore the LORD thy God will be with thee.
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1. I came to you because the people had made me afraid (2 Samuel 14:15Now therefore that I am come to speak of this thing unto my lord the king, it is because the people have made me afraid: and thy handmaid said, I will now speak unto the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his handmaid.
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2. I knew that the king would deliver me from my adversary (2 Samuel 14:16For the king will hear, to deliver his handmaid out of the hand of the man that would destroy me and my son together out of the inheritance of God.
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3. The word of the king has given me comfort (2 Samuel 14:17Then thine handmaid said, The word of my lord the king shall now be comfortable: for as an angel of God, so is my lord the king to discern good and bad: therefore the LORD thy God will be with thee.
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4. My king is as an angel in discerning good and bad (2 Samuel 14:17Then thine handmaid said, The word of my lord the king shall now be comfortable: for as an angel of God, so is my lord the king to discern good and bad: therefore the LORD thy God will be with thee.
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5. Therefore the Lord thy God will be with thee (2 Samuel 14:17Then thine handmaid said, The word of my lord the king shall now be comfortable: for as an angel of God, so is my lord the king to discern good and bad: therefore the LORD thy God will be with thee.
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3. She Admitted That Joab Had Sent Her (2 Samuel 14:18-20 [18] Then the king answered and said unto the woman, Hide not from me, I pray thee, the thing that I shall ask thee. And the woman said, Let my lord the king now speak. [19] And the king said, Is not the hand of Joab with thee in all this? And the woman answered and said, As thy soul liveth, my lord the king, none can turn to the right hand or to the left from ought that my lord the king hath spoken: for thy servant Joab, he bade me, and he put all these words in the mouth of thine handmaid: [20] To fetch about this form of speech hath thy servant Joab done this thing: and my lord is wise, according to the wisdom of an angel of God, to know all things that are in the earth.
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1. David asked the woman not to hide anything from him (2 Samuel 14:18Then the king answered and said unto the woman, Hide not from me, I pray thee, the thing that I shall ask thee. And the woman said, Let my lord the king now speak.
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2. David asked if this was the hand of Joab (2 Samuel 14:19And the king said, Is not the hand of Joab with thee in all this? And the woman answered and said, As thy soul liveth, my lord the king, none can turn to the right hand or to the left from ought that my lord the king hath spoken: for thy servant Joab, he bade me, and he put all these words in the mouth of thine handmaid:
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3. The woman admitted that Joab was behind it all (2 Samuel 14:19-20 [19] And the king said, Is not the hand of Joab with thee in all this? And the woman answered and said, As thy soul liveth, my lord the king, none can turn to the right hand or to the left from ought that my lord the king hath spoken: for thy servant Joab, he bade me, and he put all these words in the mouth of thine handmaid: [20] To fetch about this form of speech hath thy servant Joab done this thing: and my lord is wise, according to the wisdom of an angel of God, to know all things that are in the earth.
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4. The woman praised David for his wisdom (2 Samuel 14:20To fetch about this form of speech hath thy servant Joab done this thing: and my lord is wise, according to the wisdom of an angel of God, to know all things that are in the earth.
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3. THE KING BROUGHT ABSALOM TO JERUSALEM (2 Samuel 14:21-27 [21] And the king said unto Joab, Behold now, I have done this thing: go therefore, bring the young man Absalom again. [22] And Joab fell to the ground on his face, and bowed himself, and thanked the king: and Joab said, To day thy servant knoweth that I have found grace in thy sight, my lord, O king, in that the king hath fulfilled the request of his servant. [23] So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. [24] And the king said, Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face. So Absalom returned to his own house, and saw not the king's face. [25] But in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. [26] And when he polled his head, (for it was at every year's end that he polled it: because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it:) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king's weight. [27] And unto Absalom there were born three sons, and one daughter, whose name was Tamar: she was a woman of a fair countenance.
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1. Absalom Returned to Jerusalem (2 Samuel 14:21-24 [21] And the king said unto Joab, Behold now, I have done this thing: go therefore, bring the young man Absalom again. [22] And Joab fell to the ground on his face, and bowed himself, and thanked the king: and Joab said, To day thy servant knoweth that I have found grace in thy sight, my lord, O king, in that the king hath fulfilled the request of his servant. [23] So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. [24] And the king said, Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face. So Absalom returned to his own house, and saw not the king's face.
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1. David commanded Joab to bring Absalom back (2 Samuel 14:21And the king said unto Joab, Behold now, I have done this thing: go therefore, bring the young man Absalom again.
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2. Joab bowed before David and thanked him (2 Samuel 14:22And Joab fell to the ground on his face, and bowed himself, and thanked the king: and Joab said, To day thy servant knoweth that I have found grace in thy sight, my lord, O king, in that the king hath fulfilled the request of his servant.
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3. Joab brought Absalom to Jerusalem (2 Samuel 14:23So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem.
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4. David refused to see Absalom (2 Samuel 14:24And the king said, Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face. So Absalom returned to his own house, and saw not the king's face.
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5. Absalom went to his own house (2 Samuel 14:24And the king said, Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face. So Absalom returned to his own house, and saw not the king's face.
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2. Absalom Excelled in Personal Glory (2 Samuel 14:25-27 [25] But in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. [26] And when he polled his head, (for it was at every year's end that he polled it: because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it:) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king's weight. [27] And unto Absalom there were born three sons, and one daughter, whose name was Tamar: she was a woman of a fair countenance.
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1. The beauty of Absalom (2 Samuel 14:25But in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.
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2. The hair of Absalom (2 Samuel 14:26And when he polled his head, (for it was at every year's end that he polled it: because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it:) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king's weight.
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3. The children of Absalom (2 Samuel 14:27And unto Absalom there were born three sons, and one daughter, whose name was Tamar: she was a woman of a fair countenance.
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4. ABSALOM ARRANGED TO COME BEFORE THE KING (2 Samuel 14:28-33 [28] So Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, and saw not the king's face. [29] Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to have sent him to the king; but he would not come to him: and when he sent again the second time, he would not come. [30] Therefore he said unto his servants, See, Joab's field is near mine, and he hath barley there; go and set it on fire. And Absalom's servants set the field on fire. [31] Then Joab arose, and came to Absalom unto his house, and said unto him, Wherefore have thy servants set my field on fire? [32] And Absalom answered Joab, Behold, I sent unto thee, saying, Come hither, that I may send thee to the king, to say, Wherefore am I come from Geshur? it had been good for me to have been there still: now therefore let me see the king's face; and if there be any iniquity in me, let him kill me. [33] So Joab came to the king, and told him: and when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king, and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king: and the king kissed Absalom.
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1. Absalom Desired to See the King (2 Samuel 14:28-29 [28] So Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, and saw not the king's face. [29] Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to have sent him to the king; but he would not come to him: and when he sent again the second time, he would not come.
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1. He did not see the king for two years (2 Samuel 14:28So Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, and saw not the king's face.
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2. He sent for Joab two times (2 Samuel 14:29Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to have sent him to the king; but he would not come to him: and when he sent again the second time, he would not come.
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3. Joab refused to see him (2 Samuel 14:29Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to have sent him to the king; but he would not come to him: and when he sent again the second time, he would not come.
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2. Absalom Got Joab’s Attention (2 Samuel 14:30-32 [30] Therefore he said unto his servants, See, Joab's field is near mine, and he hath barley there; go and set it on fire. And Absalom's servants set the field on fire. [31] Then Joab arose, and came to Absalom unto his house, and said unto him, Wherefore have thy servants set my field on fire? [32] And Absalom answered Joab, Behold, I sent unto thee, saying, Come hither, that I may send thee to the king, to say, Wherefore am I come from Geshur? it had been good for me to have been there still: now therefore let me see the king's face; and if there be any iniquity in me, let him kill me.
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1. Absalom set Joab’s barley on fire (2 Samuel 14:30Therefore he said unto his servants, See, Joab's field is near mine, and he hath barley there; go and set it on fire. And Absalom's servants set the field on fire.
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2. Joab came to see Absalom (2 Samuel 14:31Then Joab arose, and came to Absalom unto his house, and said unto him, Wherefore have thy servants set my field on fire?
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3. Absalom demanded to see the king (2 Samuel 14:32And Absalom answered Joab, Behold, I sent unto thee, saying, Come hither, that I may send thee to the king, to say, Wherefore am I come from Geshur? it had been good for me to have been there still: now therefore let me see the king's face; and if there be any iniquity in me, let him kill me.
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3. Absalom Went before the King (2 Samuel 14:33So Joab came to the king, and told him: and when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king, and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king: and the king kissed Absalom.
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1. He came and bowed before the king.
2. The king came and kissed him.

CONCLUSION: Joab uses deceit to get his wishes from the king, and the favor is returned when Absalom sets the fields of Joab on fire in order to get his wish.